Mating Rituals
by AutumnMTC
Summary: A collection of oneshots about Garrus and FemShep. Chapter nine: "I chose to go after Vido instead of helping those factory workers. Do you think I did the right thing?"
1. Waiting

**I'm feeling a series of oneshots coming. Let me know what you think, and we'll see about continuing.**

* * *

Garrus knew he was over her.

He knew this the instant he checked his omnitool's inbox for the seventy-sixth time within the hour. It had been five months and fourteen days since Shepard had gone back to Earth to be tried, which meant it had been five months and fourteen days since he last saw her face. Every day he hoped to hear something from her. A message, a news vid, a winged pyjak with a note attached to its leg, anything. Garrus would prefer anything to this unbearable silence. It felt too much like the silence that had ensued after the Normandy went down over Alchera, which Garrus never liked to remember.

They had never spoken about that night in her cabin before the suicide mission. Passing glances and small smiles had been exchanged as they passed through the hallways of the Normandy, but even those had been short-lived. Soon after the suicide mission, Garrus had been shipped back to Palaven and was given the title of "Reaper Advisor" a few months later. The title was just a formality. Without Shepard, Garrus didn't know a whole lot about Reapers at all. She had been the one to see the beacon on Eden Prime, the one that Sovereign had spoken to exclusively. Sure, Garrus had some experience with Reapers, but Shepard's record with them blew his completely away. He had sent her countless messages with questions he dare not ask anyone else on Palaven. Messages that had never received a reply.

Garrus' visor read 3:26 AM. He sighed and rolled over, swinging his legs over the side and sitting up. There was no way he would be getting sleep tonight, not since this change of mind had come over him.

Could he really be over her? Garrus had dated other Turians before Shepard (Hell, was he even really _dating_ Shepard? He didn't know what to call it), but none had quite measured up to her. Shepard was—

He stopped. _Don't do this to yourself. You're over her. Remember?_

Garrus pulled his mandibles in close to his face and took in a deep breath. He quickly stood up and crossed the room to his desk, which was littered with pieces of a disassembled sniper rifle that Shepard had given him last December for some weird human holiday. He couldn't remember what it was called, but it had something to do with trees and flying animals. He shook the memory out of his head and turned back to the task at hand—putting his armour on and preparing for the day. Reports were still coming in about Reapers in Batarian space, which Garrus probably had to deal with. An early start to the day would take his mind off of Shepard, at the very least.

Like he said, he was over her. Totally.


	2. Worth the Wait

**Thanks for the response, guys. It's nice to get back to my fanfiction roots after all these years. This one embellishes a bit on the events that take place on Menae in ME3, so forgive the creative license. **

**Question of the day: Anybody watch the premiere of "Musketeers" last night on BBC? D'Artagnan is sex in a can, am I right?**

* * *

He was not over her.

He knew this the second she disappeared from view, losing her balance due to the brute slamming into the wall of the barricade. The thin air of Menae made it hard enough to breathe already, but seeing her slip away from view after five months and twenty-eight days of absense made up his mind instantly—Garrus was decidedly _not_ over Shepard.

Garrus dropped his sniper rifle to the ground and pulled out his assault rifle instantly, not listening when James protested his rash decision to jump down behind the barricade with Shepard. _"Are _all_ turians this stupid?!"_ His visor instantly honed in on Shepard's heat signature about twenty feet away. She was on her back and dragging herself backwards through the dirt with one arm, obviously favouring her left side where her hardsuit was fractured and slick with blood. A bullet had gotten through her shields when she fell. Her hair had fallen down and was sticking to her sweaty forehead, impeding her vision as she pulled out a simple pistol and aimed at the brute, firing shot after shot. She only had so many thermal clips, though, and that brute was slowly turning around to see what that irritating noise was. Garrus had to act fast.

Suddenly, the deafening sound of the mounted gun on the barricade roared to life, drawing the brute's attention away from Shepard. Garrus made a mental note to thank James for the distraction. Garrus sprinted toward Shepard, blindly shooting husks away from the two of them as he approached. She was fiddling with a few small black objects that she detached from the waist of her hardsuit when he got to her.

"Shepard!" Garrus shouted over the gunfire. He roughly grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet, dragging her behind a nearby rock and out of sight of the brute. He crouched down next to her, ripped a medi-gel packet out of his armour, and pressed it onto her bloody side. She hissed, but then relaxed into his hand and closed her eyes for half a second in pain-free bliss. "These brutes have been all over Menae and Palaven. They'll eat up dozens of clips if you're not careful."

"Forgive the lapse in judgement. I'll try to do better next time." Shepard said sarcastically. She smirked and looked up at Garrus, patting the hand that was still lingering at her side. "In the meantime, we left James hanging out to dry. Go shoot things and be useful."

Shepard jumped back to her feet and hurled three of the small black objects she had been fiddling with before Garrus could blink. They landed on the brute's chest and stuck to it for a few seconds before exploding in a great ball of orange flame. _Sticky bombs._ The brute stilled and fell over, blown half to pieces. The barricade was safe. Garrus allowed himself to smile for the first time in five months and twenty-eight days.

He was _definitely_ not over her.


	3. Gone Girl

**This one is kind of sad, but a fluffy one will come after this. I'll post that one tomorrow if I have time. **

**By the way, the inspiration for this series is coming from my experience watching my older sister struggle through the series for the first time. I boast eleven full play-throughs, but watching the game happen from the sidelines (and helping her out—"The ladder is over THERE. Left. LEFT, Bekah. That's RIGHT. Jesus Christ, forget it.") helps me notice all sorts of little things and empty scenes that could've had a bit more "oomph." **

**Question of the week: Anybody excited for Assassin's Creed: Unity? I'm super psyched!**

* * *

This is where he would've taken her if things had turned out differently. Someplace warm, isolated, and peaceful. Untouched by urbanization and pollution. It was a place far away from the destruction of the Reapers and light-years away from anybody who would ever recognize her face as "the saviour of the galaxy."

Unfortunately, it was also light-years away from her.

Garrus clenched his fists and fought back the chill that wanted to settle in his stomach. He looked to the two suns in the sky for some kind of comfort, as if those stars were in the same system as she was, staring down at her. He knew that wasn't the case, though. The Sol system only had one sun. Right now, it was probably lighting up the remnants of the Reaper war on Earth. Earth had always been a bit cold and rainy for Garrus' liking, but he would've taken Earth over this paradise any day. Then again, going to Shepard's planet in the middle of the Reaper apocalypse probably wasn't the best gauge of what the planet was really like. He wished he could've seen it before it all happened.

Shaking off the horrible memory of the final push on Earth, Garrus took a deep breath and leaned back in the moist soil of whatever planet they had landed on. He thought of how much she would've like to squish her weird toes into the mud.

_The Crucible fired, but at what cost? _

The galaxy was saved. Reports were coming in that Reapers had dropped dead all of a sudden and were now the equivalent of scrap metal. The Mass Relays had exploded, crippling the war relief that had been headed for Earth. Most ships were limping along via FTL drives to meet at Earth. Palaven was rubble, and Earth wasn't far from that state. Anderson was missing. Shepard was ki—

Shepard was reported missing in action.

Absentmindedly, Garrus opened his Omnitool interface and played back the voice clip he had been listening to for the past four weeks. _"I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favourite store on the Citadel." _It was the only recording he had of her voice. Over and over Garrus played that recording, relishing in the tinny sound of her voice. It made him feel like maybe she was still alive somewhere on Earth, and they just couldn't tell because the comm buoy was so unreliable. Everybody hoped for the same thing, but secretly most of them knew that there was no way she survived the explosion of the Citadel. It was just that nobody had the guts to say it aloud. Saying it made it feel more real—more final—than simply thinking it.

_There's no Shepard without Vakarian, _she would always say. Shepard _never_ lied. Since Vakarian was still a standing variable, Shepard had to be as well. It was the only way Garrus got to sleep at night.

_She's out there, _he thought. _And I'm going to find her. _


	4. Burning the Midnight Oil

**Sorry for the wait, guys. Things got a bit hectic with my work schedule. I hope this one makes up for it. I've also got a few other chapters planned out, so expect some fluffy ones later today or tomorrow. **

**Setting: ME3, pre-Tuchanka and post-Menae**

**Question: Anybody believe the Indoctrination Theory? I know Bioware discredited it, but…it's damn convincing.**

* * *

The door to Shepard's cabin slid open with a hiss. Garrus walked in with a stack of datapads and called out, "Shepard, Victus wants you to look at these before we head down to Tucha-"

He held his breath and froze in place when he saw her. Shepard was slumped over her desk, clearly asleep. Her hair was falling out of its bun in thick wavy strands that shifted a little each time she drew breath. In her limp hand was a model of Sovereign that was broken in half, pieces scattered all over the glowing datapads on her desk and on the floor by her feet. Garrus frowned—Shepard had spent weeks trying to track down that model.

He quietly set the stack of datapads down on the floor by her fish tank and tiptoed over the where she was sleeping. Ever so gently, he pried the broken Reaper ship out of Shepard's hand and set it next to her mug of cold coffee, being very careful not to make any noise that would disturb her. He noticed that her eyes were shifting rapidly beneath their translucent lids and her breathing was a bit faster than normal. _She eyen has freckles on her eyelids. _

Being careful not to catch a talon on her clothes, Garrus slid his arms around Shepard's body and hoisted her up as gently as he could. She stirred slightly. Garrus held his breath and stopped moving, fearing that he had woken her up. He waited…

After a moment, she sighed and laid her head against his armoured shoulder, which could _not_ have been comfortable. Luckily, she was still asleep. Garrus breathed a sigh of relief and walked over to her bed, setting her down on top of the covers. He used the spare blanket tossed over the back of the couch to cover her and stepped back to admire his handiwork—he was getting good at dealing with humans. He smiled and turned to leave.

"Feed my fish when you go," Shepard muttered, smirking sleepily.

_God dammit. _


	5. Girl's Night Out

**Hooray for quick posts! This is more of a fun chapter that I'm sure has been done before, but the idea is too adorable to resist. It's also a bit longer than my other chapters. Hope you enjoy! **

**Setting: Post ME1, pre-ME2 (after the Citadel has been repaired somewhat and my Shepard didn't romance anyone in the first game). It's a girl's night out at Flux!**

* * *

"You can't lie to me, Liara. It was so obvious that you were into the Commander when you came onboard the Normandy. Right, Shepard?"

Shepard blinked and looked up from the blue liquid in her glass, raising her eyebrows in silent question. She hadn't been following the conversation very closely. Instead, she had been planning quick escape routes through Flux and the best place to take cover, should a firefight come about. The loud music and the throngs of people closing in around her made her nervous. Any place could be a battlefield if the right people were there. Tali, Liara, and Chakwas didn't have the same paranoia. "Hmm? Sorry."

Chakwas smiled softly and sipped at her Serrice Ice Brandy, remarking, "It would seem that Shepard's attention is elsewhere. Are we boring you, Commander?"

"What? No. Sorry, I was just…I don't know what I was doing," Shepard admitted, swirling her drink in her glass. "What was the question?"

"Nothing," Liara interrupted. "It was nothing. Tali was going on about how, uh, Kaiden seems _very_ interested in you!"

Tali shook her head furiously. "No, I was asking if-"

Chakwas cleared her throat loudly and set her glass down on the table, leaning forward in her seat. Tali slumped her shoulders in irritation, but went back to drinking with her straw. "That's no big secret. The Lieutenant has always admired you, Shepard. He's a very nice young man. Given time and experience, I'm quite sure that he will rise up Alliance ranks."

Shepard's face soured. "Kaiden? I don't even really want to think about that. He's just so…"

"Handsome?" Chakwas asked.

"A good fighter?" Tali asked.

"A noble person?" Liara asked.

"Canadian," Shepard answered flatly.

"What's Canadian?" Liara and Tali chorused. Shepard waved the question off while Chakwas sent her a disapproving look. "That's not a reason to rule him out as a love interest, Commander."

Shepard set her glass down and crossed her legs, taking comfort in the weight of the pistol holstered to her hip. "He's a good friend. Almost like a brother to me sometimes, you know? After…after Ashley died, he was the only one I could really communicate with. He's nice and I know he means well, but he's just so boring."

Tali tapped her fingers against the table top and hummed in concentration. "So you want someone spontaneous? We only have so many options on the Normandy, Shepard. There's that tech ensign down in engineering, I guess. He can be spontaneous with his coding."

Liara rolled her eyes. "You might as well set the Commander up with Wrex."

"Hey, that's not such a bad idea," Shepard interjected, smirking. "I think I'm a bit too busy for a relationship right now, anyway. The Reaper problem seems to be more important than my sex life."

"Kaiden would be the easy choice, I suppose," Liara offered quietly.

"He's just not my type."

"Define _your type,_" Tali asked sarcastically. "I'm assuming the man of your dreams carries a rifle and has no social skills. Or something like that. Oh, Keelah. Where'd my emergency induction port go? It must be on the floor…" She slid underneath the table and started feeling around for her straw, muttering curses. The conversation continued without her.

"Well, Garrus carries a rifle and has limited social skills," Chakwas offered. "He's a very strong personality and he's rebellious, but I'm sure you could correct some of his ways."

"You make him sound like a fixer-upper house. And, no offense, but I'm not…interested in other species."

"That may change. You never know," Tali teased from beneath the table. "Ow! Don't kick me, Liara."

"I did no such thing."

Shepard sighed, feeling that too much alcohol had been consumed at that point. _Time to implement that escape plan. _"Back to the ship, ladies. We leave at 0700 hours tomorrow and you'd better not be hungover."


	6. A Disturber of the Peace

**This is the first installment of two or three parts. We're approaching the point of this story where some chapters will happen before or after others, so be sure to pay attention if you can until I order them.**

**Setting: Post-ME2, after Aratoht but before Shepard is shipped back to Earth to stand trial for her actions. She is on the Citadel on board the Normandy (docked in bay D24) for what she fears will be the last time, so she's trying to make it count.**

* * *

_ …recovered batarian technology has been forwarded to Alliance laboratories. With luck, this will assist Earth, should the Reapers arrive sooner than anticipated. Doctor Shr-_

The comm crackles to life, halting Shepard's fingers over her terminal keyboard. "Commander?" Joker asks. "We might have a problem."

Sighing, Shepard runs a hand over her face. The clock at the bottom of the screen reads 3:12 AM. She only has four more hours with the Normandy—she hopes the problem is minor. "What is it, Joker? I hope it's something that I can solve in my jammies."

"Well," he starts, chewing over the words in his mouth. "I just so happened to overhear a C-sec scanner. There are reports of shots fired down near Zakera Ward. Nobody has been hurt, but there are a bunch of angry neighbors who want some peace and quiet."

Shepard saves her report and closes her terminal, rolling her stiff shoulders. She hopes she will be able to sleep on the flight back to Earth. "It sounds like a domestic dispute of some kind. Let C-sec take care of it. I don't really see why this concerns me, especially at this hour of the morning."

"We both know you were up. I wouldn't want to leave the Normandy, either."

_She's the only home I've ever really known. Of course I don't want to leave. _The silence hangs in the air for a few seconds before Shepard sighs and nods, agreeing with a gentle, "Get to the point, Joker."

"Right, sorry," Joker apologizes, the moment gone "Now, I just want you to know something—this could be absolutely nothing."

"If you thought it was really nothing, you wouldn't have bothered to tell me. It must be something. What's the catch in this report?"

Joker pauses. "The shooter is a turian with blue clan markings, apparently."

Shepard is out of her chair before he finishes his sentence.


	7. Harmless Insubordination

**Outstanding response to the last chapter, guys! Three reviews and a bunch of favorites had me smiling all day. In regard to the guessing game going on about what Garrus was up to, that will be dealt with soon. In the meantime, enjoy this sad little bit. Forgive the light sadness. **

**Setting: Post-ME1, quite a while after Shepard's death but before her resurrection. Garrus is on Omega and settled in with his team. We will be taking a look at his sense of guilt about her death and his feelings toward her as a mentor and friend.**

* * *

He allows himself to think about her.

It is late and most of Garrus' team is asleep in their bunks around the room. After such a stressful evening, they deserve their rest. The Blood Pack fallout after Garrus' tangle with Garm had been brutal, to say the least. The only one awake is Weaver, but she is downstairs watching the eastern side of the base for any activity. Meanwhile, Garrus sits on a hard sofa overlooking the bridge through a large northern window. _Too exposed, _he always says to his team. Tonight, though, it gives him comfort. The stars remind him of his days on the Normandy, travelling far and wide to fight Saren and the Reapers. He misses Liara, Tali, Kaiden, Joker, and even Ashley. Most of all, though, he misses the Commander.

_Shepard._

What would she say to him, if she were here right now? Would she be proud of him? Probably not, he concedes, knowing her strong dislike of reckless justice. Then again, she always strived to be a mentor to him. Maybe she would offer him advice on the situation.

In his head, he hears her voice. _What you did was stupid and you could've gotten yourself killed. Or worse, you could've gotten someone else killed. You need to think of these things first, Vakarian. _

"I know," he whispers quietly. "Going after Garm was pretty stupid, but it almost worked. How else am I supposed to deal with him?"

_Trust your team, Garrus. There's power in numbers, even more so when the team trusts you completely. The glue holding you all together is thin at best. The only way they'll follow you is if you trust them with the things you know. They feel like they're following a leader they know nothing about._

"I can't," he stammers, dropping his gaze from the stars down to his glowing omnitool. Without thinking, he pulls up a news report about Shepard's death from last year. Her picture stares up at him and he suddenly feels guilty. "I should've been on the Normandy. Maybe I could've done something to keep you alive. I…I should've been there."

"Should've been where?"

Garrus jolts to a standing position, his hand halfway to his rifle before he realizes that it's Weaver. She looks tired and stressed, no doubt from today's exciting clash with the Blood Pack. She frowns and tilts her head in confusion, a human reaction that Shepard used to do after she asked a personal question. Relaxing, Garrus shuts down his omnitool and sighs, quietly answering, "Nowhere important. Time to switch out the watch?"

"Yeah," she whispers, laying down a datapad on a nearby table and stretching her arms upwards. She yawns. "I think it's Vortash's turn."

"I'll go wake him up. Get some rest, Weaver."

Garrus turns and steps toward the bunks, but freezes when Weaver clears her throat in preparation to say something. He turns back and looks at her expectantly. She shuffles her feet nervously and bites her lip before quietly asking, "If I tell you something, will you promise not to be mad?"

"No promises. What is it?"

Weaver takes a deep breath, mentally preparing to admit it all. Before she can lose her nerve, she replies hurriedly, "I looked up your records, sir. I know it was supposed to be classified and everything, but I hacked into your file. I just wanted to know a bit more about you, that's all. I haven't told anyone else what I found."

_She was curious, _Shepard counsels in his mind. _Curiosity is a big human thing. Don't be mad—it's just our nature. _Garrus sighs, his frustration with human curiosity reminding him of past days on the Normandy. "I'm not mad."

Rocking back and forth on her heels, she rushes out, "I know you served under Commander Shepard and that you were there during the geth attack on the Citadel."

There is no point in lying. "I did. I was. What of it?"

"I know that she…died. Last year, I think. Earth made a big deal about losing their only Spectre representative, which is why I remember. One of my brothers had a poster of her in his room, too. I always thought that was a little weird. He enlisted when he turned eighteen, just like she did." Weaver gives him a pitying look. "It must be hard to lose a leader like that, especially since she sacrificed herself to save you and the rest of her crew. I know that _I _would be upset if you ended up dying to save us, at least."

Garrus stays silent, refusing to acknowledge the painful memories that are slowly rising to the surface. "She was a mentor and a friend. It was very difficult."

"Do you miss her?"

_Every day, _he thinks. _I think about messaging her when I have a problem, even though she'll never respond. I still have the Spectre-class sniper rifle scope she gave me for my birthday. She _always_ remembered my birthday. She remembered every else's birthdays, too. She was an icon and a role model, not just a commander. She was my mentor. There's no one I respect more than her. I wish she could be here right now. _

"Yes," Garrus finally answers, surprised at the raw tone of his voice. "Yes, I miss her."


	8. The Bet

**Shout-out to VorchaGirl, who reviews each of my chapters without fail. You're pretty much the coolest person on the planet. Enjoy this fun little piece!**

**Setting: Mid-ME2 when Shepard is doing all the loyalty missions and stuff.**

* * *

"Mr. Vakarian?" EDI asked politely, filling up the main battery with her unexpected voice. Garrus jumped a bit and dropped his datapad on the floor in surprise. Damn that AI. He'd never get used to her. Sighing, he bent down to pick it up. The screen was cracked and flickering, his six hours of effort wiped away. A small growl emanated from his chest.

"What is it, EDI?" He asked irritably. "Also, can you try to recover what was on this datapad?"

"The information has been sent to your private terminal, Mr. Vakarian. I am sorry to have caught you off-guard. My main message, however, is that Commander Shepard would like to see you in the medbay."

"The medbay?" Garrus asked, the datapad forgotten. "Why is she-"

"Miss Lawson says to ignore her, but the commander was very insistent. I thought I would let you know anyway, as the commander is…incapacitated at the moment."

_She's hurt she's dying she's being tortured- _"Thanks for the information, EDI. I'll be right there."

Garrus dropped the broken datapad down a waste chute and tried to keep from sprinting to the medbay. If Shepard was hurt and Miranda was trying to usurp Shepard's control of the Normandy, there would be hell to pay from several people on board the ship, himself included. Garrus silently thanked the spirits that he had remembered to bring his pistol.

Arriving in the common area, Garrus took note of the crowd of Cerberus crewmembers gathered around the kitchen area. They were whispering things to each other and glancing at the medbay windows, which were covered with metal shutters. Garrus frowned and plowed through the room, ignoring the comments about _the commander's pet turian._ Right now, he was focused on making sure that Shepard was okay. After the mess with Sidonis on the Citadel, it was the least he could do for her. Garrus banged on the door panel impatiently. It slid open and he stepped inside. What he saw was as strange as watching a Reaper do a tap dance in the middle of Time's Square. (He honestly had no idea what a tap dance was or Time's Square, but Shepard used that phrase once. It stuck with him.)

The first thing Garrus saw was Shepard laid out on the examination bed closest to Chakwas' desk. She had a plastic tube down her throat and her face was contorted in agony with the occasional hiccup and blissful smile. She was continually rolling over, pulling her knees to her chest, and groaning past the tube as if her stomach was hurting. Meanwhile, Chakwas was scanning her biometric signatures. Miranda hovered, obviously irritated and worried. Miranda's hair was messy and tied up in a bun and she wore wrinkled sleepwear. Garrus thought it was a nice change from her ridiculous Cerberus uniform, which made her human figure look even stranger to him. Both Chakwas and Miranda looked up when Garrus entered. Before Chakwas could comment, however, Miranda scowled and stomped over to him, jabbing a finger in his face.

"_You_," she snarled, a few strands of hair falling into her face. "This is your fault."

Chakwas' omnitool shut off and she rested a hand on Miranda's shoulder in an effort to calm her down. "Miss Lawson, this is no more Garrus' fault than anybody's. Forgive her, Garrus."

"I don't take accusations lightly, Miranda," Garrus remarked lowly. His hand came to rest on his pistol, just in case. "_What_ is apparently my fault?"

Miranda sneered and pointed at Shepard just as she groaned again and squeezed her eyes shut. "She told us herself. _You_ put her up to this. What if this had jeopardized the mission, hmm? Did you ever think about that?"

Garrus looked at Chakwas helplessly. He had no idea what she was going on about. "What did I do?"

Doctor Chakwas sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to decide how to say it. "Do you remember the party we all had after defeating Saren? I ended up treating Tali for alcohol poisoning and Wrex destroyed a hanar statue near the Presidium."

Garrus pulled his mandibles close to his face and nodded, remembering fuzzy images from that night. Drinking with Shepard, shooting the taillights off of passing skycars while drunk, arm wrestling with Wrex and losing horribly among other things. "I remember. Why?"

Miranda threw her hands up, rolled her eyes, and stormed back over to Shepard, muttering something about turians and think plating around their skulls. Garrus disregarded her, paying close attention to the doctor's next few words:

"You bet the commander five hundred credits that she wouldn't drink a bottle of krogan ryncol."

Garrus froze. He laughed abruptly, looking over at the pained figure of Shepard and putting the pieces together. "Son of a bitch! She didn't. Please tell me she didn't."

"She did."

Behind Chakwas, Shepard sat up suddenly met the turian's gaze with drunken mirth. Miranda tried to press her back down, but Shepard pushed her insistent hands away and pulled the stomach pump out of her throat. Throwing the slimy length on the floor, she grinned and slurred, "You owe me five hundred credits!"

"Money can't buy a new reputation, Commander," Miranda snapped. "It's like you two are _intentionally_ trying to ruin my life."

Garrus grinned and leaned against the door of the medbay. "Oh, it's not intentional. Trust us."

"Coincidental," Shepard quipped, smiling blissfully. "Purely coincidental."


	9. Renegade Regret

**Epistolary**** chapter right here. Enjoy!**

**Setting: Mid-ME3. Shepard and Garrus exchange some late-night messages aboard the Normandy.**

* * *

**Received: 3:18 AM, 6/10/86**

Hey. Are you awake? I want to ask you something.

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 3:21 AM, 6/10/86**

This can't wait until later? It's three AM, Shepard.

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 3:22 AM, 6/10/86**

I figured you were awake anyway. Was I right?

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 3:24 AM, 6/10/86**

You were.

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 3:25 AM, 6/10/86**

Hah. I knew it.

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 3:25 AM, 6/10/86**

Hard to sleep when your entire planet is being decimated by Reapers. I bet that's why you're up, too.

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 3:27 AM, 6/10/86**

The nightmares keep getting worse. I've been living off of stims since I left earth. Don't you dare tell Chakwas.

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 3:28 AM, 6/10/86**

Wouldn't dream of it. What did you need?

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 3:29 AM, 6/10/86**

Well, why don't you come up to my cabin? We can talk up here.

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 3:30 AM, 6/10/86**

Tempting, but no thanks. Allers is practically camped outside the main battery, expecting a midnight liaison like this. I don't want to give her the satisfaction.

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 3:31 AM, 6/10/86**

I can throw her off the ship, if you'd like.

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 3:33 AM, 6/10/86**

No need. She makes a mean pot of dextro-based coffee. In times like these, it's the little things that keep a person going.

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 3:34 AM, 6/10/86**

I know what you mean.

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 3:36 AM, 6/10/86**

You never asked me this important question that apparently requires an answer at three in the damn morning.

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 3:37 AM, 6/10/86**

Right, sorry. Remember when we went to Zorya to help Zaeed kill Vido?

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 3:38 AM, 6/10/86**

You brought me with you, if I recall.

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 3:40 AM, 6/10/86**

I brought you on every mission, smartass. Cut the sarcasm. I'm trying to make a point.

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 3:41 AM, 6/10/86**

And that point is…?

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 3:42 AM, 6/10/86**

I chose to go after Vido instead of saving the workers in that factory.

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 3:46 AM, 6/10/86**

Shepard. Is that what this is about?

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 3:47 AM, 6/10/86**

Like I said, the nightmares are getting worse.

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 3:49 AM, 6/10/86**

You deliberated a long time over that decision. Vido almost got away because you took so long to decide, I think. But this was a whole year ago, Shepard. Why dwell on it?

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 3:50 AM, 6/10/86**

Do you think I did the right thing?

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 3:56 AM, 6/10/86**

Why are you asking me this? It was a long time ago.

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 3:58 AM, 6/10/86**

Everyone on the Normandy treated me like some kind of hero when we got back from that mission. I guess this war is making me think about the lives I didn't save.

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 4:00 AM, 6/10/86**

You can't save everyone, Shepard.

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 4:01 AM, 6/10/86**

I know that. I usually at least make an effort to try, though. Do you think I did the right thing by letting those people die?

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 4:04 AM, 6/10/86**

Are you sure you want to hear my answer?

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 4:06 AM, 6/10/86**

I think I already know what you'll say, but yeah.

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 4:07 AM, 6/10/86**

You probably do.

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 4:08 AM, 6/10/86**

Lay it on me. I can take it.

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 4:17 AM, 6/10/86**

Still there?

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 4:20 AM, 6/10/86**

(Sorry, I was typing.) Zaeed is a valuable asset in this war and a good fighter. However, considering this war we're in with the Reapers, I think you should have saved the factory workers. Bright-eyed civilians are in short supply right now. Earning the loyalty of a single jaded mercenary doesn't seem all that important right now, does it? So, no. I don't think you did the right thing.

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 4:26 AM, 6/10/86**

Shepard? Still awake?

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 4:27 AM, 6/10/86**

Yeah. Sorry. Just processing. Thanks for your honesty, Garrus. I knew you would give me a straight answer. Hurts like a bitch, though.

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 4:29 AM, 6/10/86**

Are you okay?

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_

* * *

**Received: 4:30 AM, 6/10/86**

I will be. Get some sleep, Garrus. I think we both need it.

_-Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy_

* * *

**Received: 4:34 AM, 6/10/86**

Good night, Shepard.

_-Garrus Vakarian, Head Reaper Advisor_


End file.
